funny

Just wanted to see if anyone else was down besides me. That's all.

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the...

Two Newfies were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy says , "Im gonna do dat when I win da lottery." "What's dat den?" asks Mikey. "Send me lawn away to be mowed." ================================================== ==...

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from sweden.' The other guy responds proudly, 'Yes, I am!' The first guy says, 'So am I! And where from Sweden are you? The other...

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona.' The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says...

BETHESDA – Nobody ever laughs much during U.S. Open week. Small wonder. Howls, curses, grimaces and groans, players doubled over with heads in hands — those are the familiar sounds and sights that hold sway during golf's toughest test, beginning with the moment players set eyes on the brutal...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona.' The bartender...

ROLLING MEADOWS, Ill. – Robert Adams craved an ice-cold drink after finishing his shift on a sweltering workday, but not having enough money to buy the burrito he also wanted left him with two obvious choices: Stop at the ATM, or find a bag containing more than $17,000 in cash. "I wanted to get...

(CNN) -- It is unclear if the illness that halted Casey Anthony's murder trial will delay the trial Friday morning. Anthony's murder trial ended an hour and a half early Thursday, with Orange County Chief Judge Belvin Perry Jr. telling members of the media in the courtroom that Anthony was ill...

One of the most quoted Presidents in the history of the United States, George W Bush has spawned a library of quotation books devoted to his sayings. As President, and Governor of Texas, he came out with...

WASHINGTON – Disgraced Rep. Anthony Weiner faces a cool reception from even some of his closest allies in Congress as he clings to a once-promising political career. House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi and other members of the Democratic leadership voiced their disappointment in Weiner and...

(CNN) -- A week after claiming a hacker had posted a lewd photo to his Twitter account, U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner on Monday apologized for lying about the incident and admitted carrying on inappropriate relationships with several women he'd met online. Weiner, a New York Democrat, said he is not...

NEW YORK – After days of denials, a choked-up New York Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner confessed Monday that he tweeted a bulging-underpants photo of himself to a young woman and admitted to "inappropriate" exchanges with six women before and after getting married. He apologized for lying but...

WASHINGTON – The only career foreign service officer to rise to the position of secretary of state, Lawrence Eagleburger was a straightforward diplomat whose exuberant style masked a hard-driving commitment to solving tangled foreign policy problems. "As good as they come," recalled his...

A record $445,000 was paid for a sexually explicit letter written by world famous author James Joyce to his lifelong love and partner Nora Barnacle...

<div><font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><font size="2">Who are the sexiest, rudest, funniest people in Europe? According to a Reader

(CNN) -- The FAA has seen the light. And they want to put an end to it. Federal Aviation Administration officials on Wednesday plan to announce they will impose civil penalties on people who point lasers into the cockpit of aircraft. The number of pilots reporting being targeted by lasers...

It's the stuff nightmares and horror movies are made of. A holidaymaker got a nasty shock when he learned that the strange bleeding bumps on his head were not bites or shingles, but live maggots. Aaron Dallas, from Colorado, looked for medical help when the unusual lumps appeared on his scalp...

(CNN) -- In an apparent response to days of protests, Chinese authorities have declared martial law in parts of the northeast's inner Mongolia autonomous region, according to Amnesty International. The region has long been the scene of ethnic tension between Mongolians, who have lived in...

CNN's Ashley Fantz, who grew up in Missouri, is on the ground in Joplin talking with residents who survived the tornado. As a little girl growing up in Missouri my parents rushed me into our basement several times when the tornado sirens went off. They always did a good job of making it seem...