A man was stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he came upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeded to walk into the water and bumped into the preacher. The preacher turned around and, though almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, asked the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The Drunk answered, "Yes, I am."
The preacher grabbed the drunk and dunked him in the water.
Then he pulled him up and asked him, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replied, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunked him into the water again, for a little longer.
Then again, he pulled him out and asked, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"
The drunk again answered, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher was at his wits end so he submerged the drunk once more, and held him down for about 30 seconds until he began kicking his arms and legs, whereupon he pulled him up.
The preacher again asked the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wiped his eyes and caught his breath and finally said to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"