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Little Johnny goes to the drugstore for some condoms. He goes up to the pharmacist and asked him, "Sir, can you tell me where the ribbed condoms are?" The pharmacist replied, "Son, do you know what condoms are used for?" "Sure do" replied Little Johnny, "They keep you from getting venereal...

A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, 'Did you see me rob this bank?' The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.' The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet,' she replied

My girlfriend said to me the other day, "Why did God give women periods with cramp pains and men nothing?" I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he was praying, he asked God, "How long is 10 million years to you?" God replied, "One second." The next day the preacher asked God, "God, how...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal.

new prisoner,,, a new inmate asked a fellow prisoner what you do for fun in here , he replied on monday we play basketball , on tuesday we play baseball , then the prisoner asked the new inmate if he was gay , he replied no, well your not going to like wednesday..:Laugh::Laugh: lit bill

Nakes Costume -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man went to his boss's costume party with nothing on but a young naked woman on his back. "So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the boss asked. "I'm a snail." The man replied. "What a load of...

It was the usual scene in the City's Night Court. Police had rounded up a collection of street walkers and brought them before the Judge. Three hookers, all arrested on the same corner, stood before him. He asked the first what she had to say for herself. The young woman was irate, "I have no...

A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what...

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two...

Brains -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet,' she replied.

train ride -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for a businessman reading his paper. The man peered over his paper and asked "Would you...

Two Blonde Men -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a shit." The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and shit." The first one said, "But...

Self naming A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an Attractive man standing alone. She approached him. "My name is "Carmen," she told him. "That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things...

ever have a check-up -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady goes to the gynecologist for an exam. While examining her, the doctor asks, "So, did you ever have a check-up here before?" "No" she replied, "but I have had a couple of Germans and...

Help!!! "Send someone over quick! " the woman screamed into the phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!" "This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department." "No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a...

A Little Humor For You I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'? And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'! Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and...

What Is It.?? A blonde was shopping at Target, and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos ... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow, said...