My wife said to me yesterday, "If I die, I want you to promise me, in the funeral procession, you'll let my mother ride in the first car with you."
I said, "ok, but it will totally ruin my day....."
Totally Politically incorrect
A Pakistani dies and goes to Heaven.
He knocks on the Pearly Gates and St. Peter opens them.
"Yes?", asks St. Peter.
"I am here for Jesus", says the Pakistani.
St Peter turns around and shouts, "Jesus, your taxi's here"