Two newfies were going to Disneyland They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.

They turned around and went home.


Two newfies were sitting on a bench talking, and one says to the other,

'Which do you think is farther away.. Florida or the moon?'

The other turns and says jezz bye that's easy.

Can you see Florida ?????'


A newfie pushes his BMW into a gas station...

He tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

The newfie says, ....

'What's the story?'

The mechanic replies, ....

'Just crap in the carburetor'

The newfie asks, ....

'How often do I have to do that?'


A police officer stops a newfie for speeding and asks him if he could see his license.

He replies in a huff, ....

'I wish you guys would get your act together.

Just yesterday you take away my license, .... and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

A newfie goes into the doctor's office and said that his body hurt wherever he touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor..
'Show me.'
The newfie took his finger, pushed on his left shoulder and screamed, ....
then he pushed his elbow and screamed even more.....
He pushed his knee and screamed; ....
then he pushed his ankle and screamed.....
Everywhere he touched made him scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not from Ontario are you?