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Hi I am Nomerci I am 14 years old very fun to have with mature I Will ban or kick people that hack or Insult I Would be likely to get a Admin because i know how to use my Powers Wisely i can Joke and laugh but in the same time am serious if someone asks me to op him ill kick him and say dont...

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room, the first surgeries of the day. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid." The first kid says, "You've...

A guy goes to the supermarket and noticed a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, 'Hello.' He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels...

Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you. "The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready. "Well, what is it?" he asks. "It's a bit...

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy. So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he...

A couple are at an airport in Arizona awaiting their flight. They were dressed in heavy boots, parka, scarf, mittens. All ready to head home to the Canadian winter. An older American couple standing nearby is intrigued by their manner of dress. The wife says to her husband, "Look at that...

A little 80 year old Ukrainian Baba had always wanted to join a local bikers club. One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club." The guy was amused, but explains that she needs...

the boss shows up for work one morning with his fly wide open -- his secretary asks him if he left his garage door open -- he thinks for a minute and says that he is positive he closed it before coming to work -- he goes to his office and shortly after realizes that his fly is open -- he goes...

A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs; a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime she asked him if he...

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got...

Best little Johnny joke I have heard yet. A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers. Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg...

A hillbilly kid marries his childhood sweetheart. Their honeymoon was to take place in a hunting lodge located in a special area, which is only accessible by train. They get to the station where they wait for four hours. All of the waiting passengers are getting a little miffed. The bride...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer...

Knock Knock A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady "Do you have a vagina"? She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same...

I Want to Buy That A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the...

A college student is doing a research paper on pirates. He goes to the docks one day and finds a drunkard swarthy pirate laying at the edge of a pier. After a brief explaination he asks ” How did you lose your leg?” The pirate responds “Yarrrr I was swimming in that thar sea and shark beet off...

A drunk a drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man replies. The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?' 'It wasss...

Do you still get horny? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady...

How Old Am I?? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to...

Three kids -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at...