1. Energizer

    One day in the forest

    One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attached them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said, "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit...
  2. I

    new guy

    hello to everyone in this community and thank you for letting me be part of it.
  3. P

    help with sonicview 360 premier

    i have this box already set up in my house is connected to a dish. I guy connected for me a long time ago,it was working perfectly until 3 weeks ago,it stop working! it says connection FAIL! I know my box has the latest software! I was wondering if anyone here knows how to activate it! or if i...
  4. No Warranty

    A guy stood over his tee shot

    A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"The guy answers, "My wife is...
  5. No Warranty

    A young single guy is on a cruise ship

    A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce...
  6. No Warranty


    A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket calling out, Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!' Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, 'Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.' The old guy replies, 'Oh, I'm calling my wife. She's in here somewhere' The clerk is astonished. 'Your wife's name is...
  7. the doctor

    Natasha Leggero: Boston Blackout

    This girl comes up to me with this thick Boston accent and she's like, 'Hey, you've seriously never woke up at a party and some guy was inside you?' I never woke up at a party.
  8. No Warranty

    Jack Daniels Fishing Story

    I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait...
  9. the doctor

    Jeff Dye: Double Standards

    A lot of double standards in Los Angeles. Like if a girl goes out, sleeps with a bunch of dudes, she's considered a slut. But if a guy does it, he's considered a homosexual. That's messed up.
  10. No Warranty

    A Swedish Joke

    Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from sweden.' The other guy responds proudly, 'Yes, I am!' The first guy says, 'So am I! And where from Sweden are you? The other...
  11. B

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes...
  12. Scammer

    Hunting jokes

    Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling...

    [Congratulations!] New Guy 1955Mercury B-Day

    "HAPPY BIRTHDAY 1955Mercury" Maybe A New Guy Here, But Well Knone To All Of Us!! ALL YOURS ENJOY 1955Mercury:dirol: O by the way that a he-she in that pic LOL!! J/K
  14. B

    being senior

    THE OLDER CROWD A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied...
  15. A

    Suspect in Buffalo may not be 'right guy'

    Suspect in Buffalo may not be 'right guy' BUFFALO, N.Y., Erie County, N.Y., officials say they may not have arrested the "right guy" in the killing of four people at a restaurant in Buffalo. Keith Johnson, 25, of Buffalo -- who was released from prison on parole last month -- was arrested...
  16. B

    Crappy Day

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A small, balding man stormed into a local bar and demanded, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got! I'm so upset I can't even see straight!" The bartender, noticing that the little man was a bit the...
  17. B


    A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.” The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked...
  18. A

    Bluesman Guy turns Hot House into Legends

    Bluesman Guy turns Hot House into Legends CHICAGO, (UPI) -- A one-time jazz hangout now is a place for up-and-coming blues artists, thanks to Chicago bluesman Buddy Guy. Buddy Guy's Legends club, located in the building that was home to Hot House, a jazz and world music club, embodies the...
  19. fgarcia

    new to this site

    just want to say whats up i see a lot of familiar names from the other site i was from so far i like what i see great place you guy have here
  20. B

    The Little Bird

    The Little Bird Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?" "A bird," the guy replied. The little...